Her hand went up. Then it went back down.
Again.
For years, that was the whole story...
A senior QA specialist in tech, sharp enough to spot the risk everyone else missed — and quiet enough that nobody ever heard her name it.
Retros where she'd open her mouth and someone else would "re-explain" her own question back to her.
Deadlines that ate her feedback whole.
She told me it felt like being a slave to the project. (Her words. I wrote them down and didn't say anything for a while.)
I didn't start with scripts.
I started with a question I hesitated to ask myself once, too: Who are you trying to become? Not your job title. The person underneath it.
She didn't want "Leader."
Too much baggage.
She'd watched people she loved trade family dinners for that word.
So she picked her own instead.
AI Enabler.
Someone who raises others up rather than talks over them.
Everything after that was just practice.
Three things, really:
- A verbal bookmark, so she could hold her place mid-sentence without raising her voice. ("Two more points, then I'd love your take.")
- A translation trick — turning "The code's messy" into something leadership actually leans forward for: cost, quality, risk.
- A three-step reset for the moment someone pushes back and the old panic starts climbing her chest — feet on the floor, one slow breath, a beat of curiosity instead of a shutdown.
Six sessions later, her manager asked her to help build the team's AI test strategy.
Then to present it.
To twelve people.
That hand that used to go back down?
It didn't this time.
Her line, looking back (not mine): "It felt like I was drowning. Now I have a sea of opportunities ahead of me."
That shift didn't come from louder talking.
It came from figuring out who she was becoming underneath the job title.
If you're the smartest person in the room who says the least in it, I don't think that's really a confidence problem.
It's an identity problem, wearing a confidence costume.
Both are fixable.
I coach people to communicate confidently and clearly, so they're understood, valued, and thriving at work. If you want to find out what's under the costume, I'd love to help.